Misc. >> Fun: Diary >> Adventure 01 - Robot
Diary - Adventure 01 - Robot
I
regenerated today, oh what fun. I think I shall stay away from poisonous
bugs for awhile though, as much as I love the little fellas.... Anyway,
you're never sure what you're going to get with regeneration and I'm not
so sure I even know now what I've got. I'm sure I must of said something
very profound, I mean what else do I ever say other than profound things?
But perhaps we will never know the answer to the eternal question "Why
is a mouse when it spins?". If I ever see a mouse, I shall have to
ask it. And what do you say to the ears? Well... people say a lot of things
to ears don't they, that's what they're there for. Wait a minute, that's
not what I was asking. Then again what's the point in asking this to myself?
I'll ask the first person I see instead... might make an interesting conversation.
The first thing I really remember though is waking up in the infirmary.
Not wishing to kick up a fuss (who on Galli- I mean Earth, are these people
anyway?) I snuck away to find the TARDIS. Time to have some fun, I thought!
But it's locked! After some time I eventually found the key to the TARDIS
in my shoe, of course an obvious place. Plus I was wondering what on earth
that was that had been stabbing my foot all this time...
Some party pooper came along who wouldn't know what an infirmary is if
he saw one (sick bay indeed! Hmph). He also wasn't too interested in conversation
about my ears although I can't blame him because I wasn't too interested
in the conversation about ears I had with myself earlier either. I tried
to impress him 
by
snapping a brick in half (actually it was a wooden one I'd made earlier,
Blue Peter style, but he didn't seem to notice despite the noise it made,
phew! I mean you can't seriously believe I can snap a real brick!?). However
it didn't seem to be working, the spoil-sport still whittered on so I
thought, geez this chap needs to learn the meaning of fun! So I had a
little game with him, skiprope should be a nice simple one for this idiot
to understand I thought. It was not my fault of course that he's so hopeless
that he got caught up in the rope. Oh no, never my fault at all. And it
was also not my fault that after getting caught up in the rope he tripped
and fell into a cupboard which by chance shut itself. That was definitely
not my fault either.
Unfortunately before I could zoom off some more people came along. Oh
what a bore, I thought. I'm a mature adult I should be able to go off
alone without all this fuss! Hmm, then again, I'm not so sure the words
'mature adult' exactly fit.... Eventually I recognised who these people
were though and being the nice obliging chap I am I decided to help them.
I hope they appreciate it! But first I needed to change clothes. The first
few outfits apparently didn't work, hopefully people will just think my
lack of fashion sense was down to post-regenerative trauma. Ah, what a
wonderful excuse that one is. The things I've gotten away with using that
one!
Being the brilliant person I am I immediately found evidence. I left the
evidence on the Brigadier, literally. Well I thought he might appreciate
smelling of flowers. I clued everyone in on the next destination. Which
is also where I made a cracking joke about the Titanic. Oh, I do amaze
myself! But no-one laughed, bah. I should become a comedian and then maybe
my talents wouldn't be wasted.
Yadda yadda yadda. Robot robot robot. And so I made some more great observations
and all that. Anyway more importantly I tried making a little sculpture
out of bits and pieces from the UNIT office. I thought I might make it
big as an artist, but unfortunately it fell over... Better luck next time.
So I went to chat with one of the suspects and won him over with my great
intelligence. All in a days work of course.
That
fellow rang me up again and I paid him a visit even though I knew it'd
be a trap. I was bored, OK? Somehow I typed up a letter at an insane speed,
I think someone pressed Fast Forward. Well, there I met a robot who had
a bigger attitude problem than Marvin from that nifty TV show I sometimes
get on my TARDIS (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy).
I introduced myself, being the polite chap I am, then decided that this
wasn't such a good idea. I suppose running around that warehouse was good
for some exercise though. What on Galli-- Earth was I thinking when throwing
those miniscule ballbearings at it though!? Even I probably wouldn't of
tripped on those! My next idea with tripping him up using my dear old
scarf didn't do much either but perhaps it will someday on another maniac,
I have faith in my ideas (even if no-one else does)! But I decided to
forget the whole tripping-him-up idea. After desperately trying most the
doors I threw my Indiana Jones hat at him. Perhaps he would forget his
homicidal ideas and try to act out the The Temple
of Doom instead, I thought. It seemed to silence the robot so I
approached it. Unfortunately when people said to me in the past "Curiosity
killed the cat" they didn't mention that it also konked out the Time
Lord too... And so I found myself on the floor. I struggled away from
the robot then passed out.
Silly Sarah had gone to the baddies place with the evil scientist that
I had forgotten to tell everyone was evil. So I went off to gatecrash
their party. Now I'm the party pooper! There I was faced with a dull guard
at the door, I tried to find this "pass" that he requested but
really I hoped he would just be impressed with one of my many neat trinkets
from the abyss that is my pockets. Unfortunately the bore was not even
impressed with trophies and galactic papers. What does it take to impress
people on this planet!? But my scarf happened to trip him up. Honest,
that scarf has a life of its own. It's my most faithful companion! So
off I went into the baddies meeting. I thought, gosh, these people all
look like total bores. What is this, the Ignorant Bores Meeting? But then
I thought, if they called it that they'd be sued by IBM. Being the nice
chap that I am I decided to liven the dull place up with some light entertainment.
The audience seemed to appreciate it but those dull guards came by and
spoiled the show! Honestly, I wonder if I'll ever meet a 
guard
with a sense of humour. Then some fuss happened and I didn't have a clue
what was going on but I was determined not to finish my stage career so
soon! When I heard a gunshot sound effect (it can't of been a real gun)
go off I did my very best dying act. Unfortunately no-one seemed to really
pay attention, they were too busy screaming and so on, tch. Sarah seemed
to notice however so I gave her a wink as gratitude. Then it turned out
that some people had been kidnapped so we went off to rescue them. I made
some great observations again and also got to show off. However the robot
showed up and stole the screen again. Right, I thought, I've had enough
of this robot ruining my moments. So off I went to the laboratory after
someone gave me an idea, I'm sure I would of thought of it myself eventually
though! Here, despite rude interruption, I managed to concoct some metal-eating
stuff.
I returned to the others and as usual without me everything had gone haywire.
I don't know, whatever would they do without me! Dashingly I chucked a
bucket of stuff at it. What an action hero I am! And so the thing dissolved
away into nothing-ness.... Or something. Anyway, Sarah was being moody
so I offered her a Jelly Baby. I don't know where I get these Jelly Babies
from, they just appear in my pockets, but I've become very fond of them.
Especially the orange ones. It seemed to help, perhaps I'll offer them
to more people! Mr Spoil-sport Harry came by but I'm such a nice person,
I offered him a Jelly Baby. Until he offended me that is! How dare he
question my honesty again! I invited him to see for himself about the
TARDIS. Of course I wasn't trying to show off or anything, I mean I'm
so modest I would never do such a thing. But that's all beside the point
because I decided this was a bad idea... after Harry messed with the controls
and off we went to goodness-knows-where!
